Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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