i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
