I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize