quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
