Fuck appropriateness.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
