i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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