He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
