Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
