Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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