she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
