Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
