I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
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I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
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You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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