Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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