The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
A+ Viking dick
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