i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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