And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
