Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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