Small penises have feelings too.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
