I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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