After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
