we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
me + whiskey = a bad person
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
