White coat. Heels.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
