It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
