I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I supernannyed him into submission
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
