Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
