I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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