If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
