"it" just moved
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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