dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
