it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
