At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
