I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
