Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
