It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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