We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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