I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
