I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
