So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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