I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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