i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Vodka?
Forever.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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