It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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