Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
