He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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