I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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