He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
