I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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