Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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