I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
