took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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