take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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