i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
