He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well I just put wine in my tea
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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