woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
