Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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