you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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