she looked like the before picture.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
