On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize